I'm Still Not Happy

I thought things would be better if I could get my cert. Go out with friends etc... Living in the present is impossible to me. Yada yada @@. thats all. goodbye

Trust and Confidence

I've always wanted to write about this post. Its about human trust and confidence. Let me be frank. As a cancer girl... I put trust as top priority on everything I do. Like relationships, friendships, 'relationships-with-people' yada yada. First things never to leak out (if possible) >>

1. Your fam issues (DUH)
2. Your next crush (extreme leakage)
3. Your salary (jealousy issues?)

I almost never wanna leak out anything.. I used to be overly trusting... So I got bombed alot.. but I learned. I really really learned. One still cant be overly cautious though.

Once you betray my trust, gone case forever. Thats me. Yupz

The Life Of A Miserable Teen

Here's what I should say. There is always not enough time to go around, not enough money to spend, and the list goes on and on etc. There is also not enough smiles to share around, not enough freedom, and not enough space, and not enough energy to do what I am doing.

In other words.. STRESS!! My lecturer asked me to devour two newspapers per day. Yup. And I have reached a age range where... I should be working by now. Yup. I'm turning 23 next year. 23!! not 17 or 18 okay.. its 23.. an age where you can start worrying how you look, your finance in the future, your current outlook, your current image, your clothes, your makeup, your skincare, your 'relationship status' and the list goes on (yada yada). I wont be worrying about stuff like this 3 years ago. Nope. 3 years ago I'm still having fun in college. Ya.

I know I'm slow. But still, I refuse to give up. I don't want another lag of 3 years due to a handicapped hand. Am I really pushing myself too hard? I'm trying to make up for the lost time. Its so unfair. Really. But to put 6 years back.. Thats really alot of time to put back on track... Maybe I should stop looking into the past and look forward.. '


In accounting.. we have a thing called opportunity cost. Ya. The opportunity cost of studying vs the opportunity cost of working = ? *opp cost means >>> benefit foregone in doing something else*
WORK!!! You're slow!!! Shit...

Enough emo-ing and back to work then. My parents are slow. But that was their era. This era you need to be fast. Bye peeps!

Outing Wiz Gal Frenz at Life Cafe

    Hi gal!! Smile XD

This pic really doesnt look like me I don't know why .. ><"

Biggy Smile ^^

         Taken with Fuji Instax Mini Camera ... Soul Mates *Muakzz*

Mmm? Nice or not??!!

I hung out with one of my college friends Teresa the other day at life cafe.. while we just chatted and chatted about our daily life, probs and shared interesting stories with each other... I've known her since 2008 in inti.. and amidst some conflicts we managed to get back together as closer friends. She's quite fun to hang around with and has a good sense of humour..

I rarely blog so much about food nowadays cuz I seldom hang out with my friends... No time.. More assignments more exams, packed schedule etc. I missed year 2010 so much tho.. The girl that was carefree and more ignorant.. but rather the girl next door.. 

I miss some of my old friends.. but I've decided that while friends come and go some closer ones really do stick to you.. The true ones.. Well.. Thats all! Chow ^^

The Nightmare Of Reality

Hmm.. This is actually a summary of what happened to me this year. I woke up to find that 3 years of lost time due to a crippled hand was horrifying... Then I decided to pace up.. like 3 times faster ....

Episode 1: Got into a fight with my parents

Episode 2: Left the studio I loved so much, and HIM (we weren't together)

Episode 3: Signed up for a marathon of stuff to preoccupy myself. (Assignments, new course, violin, piano, belly dance) Like driving myself mad. Thats what

Episode 4: Trying to cope with the tight schedule, and nearly dying trying

Next episode.. To be continued ....

My Life And How I Grew Up

I was a kid under the protection of my parents, and they were overly protective, as I was the only child. But this year, at the age of 22, I was clear what I wanted. I wanted to escape from their grasp, and live the life I wanted, which meant, no constraint, work alone, able to hang out late, etc.

I had to fight with my mum for 2 months over a pair of car keys. Ridiculous? They kept treating me like a child, which was wrong. My mum had PMS .. ya.. don't get me wrong. She's old and she's behaving like a child. No one can stand her. My dad? Has tantrums all the time. As a result, I had to get out of the house all the time. It was my only ticket to sanity. 

I drive out first thing every morning, and find a wi-fi spot to do my assignments and get a breather. I avoid my parents at all costs. They are negative people that have the worst perception of everything they do. Ya. And I have friends that tell me to think positive, when they in fact.. cant. My parents are born pessimists that think of the worst possible outcome of every single aspect, especially my mum.

I've decided to start working asap (like next year) and then when I have enough $$ >> MOVE OUT. Nope. I'm not joking. When I am not with them, I am in such a better state of mind and also so much happier. 

I have reached a certain state that I dont think I feel anything anymore, after all the trash I've gone through. I will stay strong and persevere, not buying other people's comments that put me down. Yup. Thats ME!!


Thanks for reading peeps. I am happy to have you guys :)

Increasing Self Esteem

I don't think that sitting here doing nothing would help me at all... Yup I agree, my self esteem has dropped.. Like right down to the bottom.. I felt that a makeover would make me feel better, but it didnt..

Surprising enough, I can't dance anymore. I guess I can accept that. (IF I force myself to) I used to think that was the only thing I was good at.. Which is the problem... Its like you're good in english and now you're poor in that too... (MISERY)

No.. I don't think I was good in dancing to begin with... I dont understand why people still think I'm a good dancer.. Nope.. I'm NOT...

Maybe I should count my accomplishments...

1. Done my haircut
2. Done a few small daily skincare
3. Finished a CAT


So why am I still so down? I just dont feel happy... I really dont...

Advice?