The Nightmare Of Reality

Hmm.. This is actually a summary of what happened to me this year. I woke up to find that 3 years of lost time due to a crippled hand was horrifying... Then I decided to pace up.. like 3 times faster ....

Episode 1: Got into a fight with my parents

Episode 2: Left the studio I loved so much, and HIM (we weren't together)

Episode 3: Signed up for a marathon of stuff to preoccupy myself. (Assignments, new course, violin, piano, belly dance) Like driving myself mad. Thats what

Episode 4: Trying to cope with the tight schedule, and nearly dying trying

Next episode.. To be continued ....

My Life And How I Grew Up

I was a kid under the protection of my parents, and they were overly protective, as I was the only child. But this year, at the age of 22, I was clear what I wanted. I wanted to escape from their grasp, and live the life I wanted, which meant, no constraint, work alone, able to hang out late, etc.

I had to fight with my mum for 2 months over a pair of car keys. Ridiculous? They kept treating me like a child, which was wrong. My mum had PMS .. ya.. don't get me wrong. She's old and she's behaving like a child. No one can stand her. My dad? Has tantrums all the time. As a result, I had to get out of the house all the time. It was my only ticket to sanity. 

I drive out first thing every morning, and find a wi-fi spot to do my assignments and get a breather. I avoid my parents at all costs. They are negative people that have the worst perception of everything they do. Ya. And I have friends that tell me to think positive, when they in fact.. cant. My parents are born pessimists that think of the worst possible outcome of every single aspect, especially my mum.

I've decided to start working asap (like next year) and then when I have enough $$ >> MOVE OUT. Nope. I'm not joking. When I am not with them, I am in such a better state of mind and also so much happier. 

I have reached a certain state that I dont think I feel anything anymore, after all the trash I've gone through. I will stay strong and persevere, not buying other people's comments that put me down. Yup. Thats ME!!


Thanks for reading peeps. I am happy to have you guys :)

Increasing Self Esteem

I don't think that sitting here doing nothing would help me at all... Yup I agree, my self esteem has dropped.. Like right down to the bottom.. I felt that a makeover would make me feel better, but it didnt..

Surprising enough, I can't dance anymore. I guess I can accept that. (IF I force myself to) I used to think that was the only thing I was good at.. Which is the problem... Its like you're good in english and now you're poor in that too... (MISERY)

No.. I don't think I was good in dancing to begin with... I dont understand why people still think I'm a good dancer.. Nope.. I'm NOT...

Maybe I should count my accomplishments...

1. Done my haircut
2. Done a few small daily skincare
3. Finished a CAT


So why am I still so down? I just dont feel happy... I really dont...

Advice?